Old Man Rothstein

Today I opened a new deodorant. It's Old Spice, "regular scent", whereas the old one was Old Spice "arctic force". Now instead of smelling like a glacier, I smell like a grandfather. I'm wearing a grandfather-esque shirt today too, or at least one like my grandfather might wear (although I don't think he wears Old Spice). I don't think this is a bad thing. If I were actually a grandfather, I wouldn't mind if people referred to me as "old spice". Like, "Old man Rothstein put up quite a fuss in the deli today; that guy sure is an old spice." Maybe this should be my new fashion: Grandfather chic. Not just wearing a hat/t-shirt that identifies me as a grandfather; that is only ironic, and therefore false. I'm talking about selling not only the image, but the aesthetic. Through my clothing and mannerisms I will actually portray that my seed has been spread, I've fulfilled my genetic role, and now I can relax, build myself a skiff in the backyard, and watch the world go to hell. Forget waiting for some sort of "hill" to be gotten over, I'm wearing the bottoms of my trousers rolled now. Some young women, like [bungertn] and [walmanra], may wear clothes that say they are ready to conquer and build the world anew with humor and taste, but my clothes will say that, frankly, I've done all I can do, and now I'm going to sit back with my scotch and laugh, because I have hair growing out of the folds of my ears and I like weird pickled fishes on rye bread, goddammit.