"Let's Not Start Sucking Each Other's Dicks Quite Yet"

(or, an homage to David Cronenberg.)

I have mentioned how great I think he is before, but I think David Cronenberg might be my favorite film maker. This is huge for me, because I hate declaring favorites. His films are exactly on my wave-length; they are perfect combinations of sci-fi, horror, and drama, with eye-grabbing visual effects, twisted plots, and macabre themes of body/technological invasion. Since I'm already gushing, I might as well say a little bit about each film of his I have seen, in order of how much I liked them, from most to less than most.

Videodrome (writer/dir.) - "Death to Videodrome, long live the new flesh!" As if that line isn't enough, there are also the special effects; the plot involving some sort of conspiracy, never fully explained, between corporations, religions, and TV; the idea of a torture tv channel (in orange jumpsuits no less, that evoke Abu Graib internet pictures); and the backdrop of a depressed Toronto. If watching a videotape breathe doesn't get you off, the self-conscious melodrama of the film will.

eXistenZ (writer/dir.) - Tied with Videodrome for my favorite. Actually the plots are very similar; instead of breathing, eating, and fucking through our tv sets, in this one we are doing it through organically grown video game systems. Although Videodrome wins for the ingenuity of the spec. effects in the time it was made, the sheer craziness of the plot that is not tied up at the end, and for pure camp factors, eXistenZ comes through in other factors. The gristle gun assembled from the detrius of a mutant chinese-food meal even surpasses the mutant fish farm harvesting game system components, but MY FAVORITE FILM MOMENT OF ALL TIME is when Jude Law flips out after Jennifer Jason Leigh wets her finger and runs it around his "port" orifice so that it will accept the insertion of the game system umbilical cord. That got me literally hot.

Scanners (writer/dir.) - Similar to Videodrome in its sci-fi camp aesthetics. This one is about how schizophrenics are actually telepathic. The first "scanning" scene sets the tone for the film. Bloody and twisted.

Crash (dir.) - The one about car crashes, sex, and wound fetishes, not the one about race. Based on a novel of the same name. Although the graphic nature of the film (I remember this was the first R-rated, "red screen" preview I ever saw) certainly draws the attention, one of my favorite moments is the main characters looking down over a Toronto highway interchange from a balcony at the traffic. Its beautiful, in the cold, twisted manner of the film.

Dead Ringers (writer/dir.) - Jeremy Irons plays identical twin gynocologists. Yep. This film boasts the best line since Videodrome, with "Gynocological Tools for Operating on Mutant Women". In addition to the themes of psychosis, dual personalities, and vaginas, there is some drug addiction thrown in for emphasis. Some surgery scenes provide the opportunity for the distinctive Cronenberg spec. effects. I have to say though, this one kind of dragged on towards the end. I could tell what was going to happen, yet I had to wait a half hour for it to actually unfold, at no real benefit in the presentation.

Naked Lunch (writer/dir.) - Since literally adapting this book is impossible, you might as well make a movie just as random starring Burroughs as the main character and add fucking typewriters. Videodrome for writers? I don't appreciate Burroughs as much as Cronenberg, so I wouldn't want to give the former the credit, but i could probably do the argument in 5 pages over 2 hours (cultural studies!). This one needs intoxicants of some sort to make it go down smoother.

The Fly (writer/dir.) - The Jeff Goldblum classic. "Brundle Fly"?? Where the fuck did Cronenberg come up with that? This one is perhaps the most campy, but great for its quotable lines, and the gross-out fly effects. There are some choice lines about flesh in this one, but none that I remember now. I love how the teleporting chambers are called "pods". It just sounds so organic and filthy. The film pretty much devolves into a typical horror movie though.

A History of Violence (dir.) - Definitely his most acessible film, and while it is quite good, I rated it last just because by way of being accessible to a mainstream drama crowd it leaves the realm of sci-fi that I like better. This is easily just another dark mobster film, although it is executed very well. The story is from a graphic novel. I did like the juxtaposition of sex with violence, although there is a gratuitous female frontal nudity shot that just seems totally out of place. The effects are more realistic in this one to suit the audience. Also, it takes place in middle america, which is a departure for Cronenberg, who normally is very open about his films taking place and being shot in Toronto and Canada. This is a good movie to see, but I wouldn't recommend it as an introduction to Cronenberg.

The Dead Zone and Spider are on my queue, but I haven't seen them yet.